So I was stumped and thought, "so what will help?" The thought came to me: "prayer." Well, duh God. I knew that one already. I'm already praying.
No, a prayer movement.
Ahh, now we are talking.
Just as suddenly as that thought came the story of Sodom and Gomorrah and how Abraham begged with God that if 50 righteous men could be found, the city would be spared. Then Abraham continues to barter with God for fewer and fewer men.
These thoughts combined and I said, "Ahh. I will pray and ask 50 men to fast/pray for one day for the cities of Bangkok and Pattaya." These are the cities where sex tourism is most rampant. Watch The Hangover II--you'll get the picture.
I will be posting a list of things to pray for/ prayers that you can just repeat throughout your day. Mark your calendars and spread the word. Maybe I'm asking too little--are there more than 50 men who will humble themselves for a day on behalf of the exploited of the world?
So Wednesday, January 15th, 2014, I am calling on especially men to pray and fast for Bangkok and Pattaya. I'm hoping for 50, but maybe there will be an outpouring. Why this day? It's far enough from today to recruit and get the word out. It's also after the holiday season so that people should have more time to spend in prayer than rushing from work to parties to family. And it's far enough away from the beginning of the year for people to use as a diet plan.
As if also by the same inspiration, two of my new friends here in Bangkok who also keep blogs posted their experiences and pleas for good men. Another new friend shared about her vision for a worship and prayer movement in Bangkok.
I will share their most recent blog posts. Will you believe for change with us?
"The Despair of This City"
by Molly
I’ve lived here for over a year total including my internship last year, and I’ve heard veteran Bangkok dwellers say, “Bangkok got the best of me today.” or “Each morning, you’ve got to brace myself for this city, otherwise it will chew you up and spit you out.” I am beginning to understand what they mean.
Some days, the despair of this city is just too much. Walking the streets of Bangkok allows for a special, yet darker perspective of the city. You walk past a lot of beggars–children, physically handicapped, elderly, mentally handicapped. You walk past a lot of tourists–Middle Eastern, European, Australian, American, African, families, couples, old men, young men, backpackers. You also walk past a lot of venders selling all kinds of things–T-shirts, shoes, ceramics, books, DVDs, swim suits, pants, bags, electronics, drugs, sex toys, condoms. There’s just so much. A lot of it, if not most of it, makes you a little nauseous.
The despair of the city got to me a couple days ago as I overheard some college aged American boys talking about the sex they bought last night. The despair of this city got the best of me today as I watched a young Thai man with no arms and one leg sit on a scooter in the middle of the sidewalk and beg for money from tourists. I despair of this city got the best of me today as I passed by one of the well known red light districts at 4pm, and saw the faces of the men leaving the bars looking very proud of themselves and commenting on what they had just experienced.
Some days, Bangkok gets the best of you. That was the case for me, and I found myself longing for the days before I knew about any of this stuff. I wanted to escape it, because it was too much. What am I supposed to do with this information? What am I supposed to do with this junk I have been exposed to? Remember when life was simple and naive and my understanding of prostitution, trafficking, exploitation and poverty fit in a nice neat little box?
The truth is, once you’ve been exposed there’s no going back. Once God breaks your heart for the despair of this city, He’s the only one who can mend it. But, it’s in that heart break and in the hard questions of “why?” that God meets me and reminds me of the brokenness of this world and its need for a Savior. He reminds me that “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world!” (John 16:33). He’s bigger, He’s greater, He knows every detail of every hurting soul and He wants to redeem it all.
The truth is, this city can get the best of you some days. It’s big and loud and exhausting and full of heart wrenching images everywhere you turn. Some days it’s easier to put your blinders on and just press forward. But God calls me to walk these streets with eyes wide open promising that He’ll provide the wisdom and love to meet people where they’re at. Oh Lord, that I might be so brave and so bold to do so.
"Power, Sex, and Gender Dynamics"
by Carter
Throughout July and August, I spent several evenings a week as a part of a research group with Love146 and Dton Naam Foundation, conducting interviews with 60+ ladyboys working in prostitution here in various Bangkok red-light districts, bars, and street corners. It was one of the most heart wrenching, and yet beautiful things I’ve done in my life. I spent around 45 minutes getting to know each of these incredibly resilient men, dressed in elaborate, revealing women’s clothing, with curvaceous bodies and authentic smiles. Conducting each interview in Thai, I heard honest truths from these fellow humans. Some of them were go-go dancers, others were freelance workers on the street. One of our interview questions in particular, “Who raised you?” focused on their family histories. Overwhelmingly, I heard them answer, “My grandma”, “My mom”, “My auntie”, or “My sisters”. Over and over again, I heard these men say, “Growing up, my dad wasn’t in the picture”, “There were no men in our village”, “I didn’t have any positive male influences in my life”. Point blank, one ladyboy said to me, “Maybe my life would be different if my dad was in my life.”
These answers caused me to deeply contemplate issues of gender and power dynamics in our world today and I came away from this study convinced, more than ever, of the intrinsic power men have to change the world, solely by being male.
Men, do you know how powerful you are to change the world?
I mean it, do you know?
This question is something I’ve been sitting on for a while now. I moved back to Bangkok after graduating from the University of Richmond two and a half years ago. This city has always been “home” to me and I fall more and more deeply in love with this insanely magical place on a daily basis. However, never until these past two years have I let my heart so deeply and intentionally engage in the brokenness of Bangkok. Sure, I always knew this place was pretty heavy and dysfunctional, to say the least. But at times it feels overwhelming and unbearable. To be honest, I’m jaded. I’m bitter. Sex sells on every corner in this town. From massage parlors, to red-light districts, to sidewalks, and hole-in-the-wall brothels, vulnerable women and men voluntarily, or without a choice, sell their bodies to paying customers. These customers, for the most part, are male. Additionally, I work amongst the largest slum community here in Bangkok, where it’s “normal” to hear stories of fathers impregnating their teenage daughters and little children who have been beaten and abused their entire lives.
To be raw and honest, my heart is struggling desperately to keep faith in men. I recently have found myself fighting with everything in me to choose to believe in the “good-guys”. While I realize Disney princes don’t exist in real life, like a lot of young women, as a child I always had this ideal of these perfect princes in my mind, who would swoop up their princesses and risk their lives to protect them. Reality hit me in the face like a brick when I realized these princes are few and far between and that we’re all imperfect people. No one should be expected to deliver perfection, and maybe that’s part of the problem. Expectations and pressure weigh heavily in this man’s world. Men often carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, and many of you deserve medals of honor for your quiet acts of kindness and radical acts of justice that you perform everyday. But we live in a world where often men choose to make some of the most destructive decisions for their families, their wives, their children, their businesses, their communities and ultimately for humanity. Yes, I said humanity. No, I don’t think I’m exaggerating.
Our world is a place of hierarchy. Our patriarchal societies, for the most part, place greater value and expectations on the male sex over their “weaker” counterpart. We find gender hierarchy in classrooms, in government, in our places of work, and in our families. This is not only the case in Western contexts, but gender biases and discrimination are found throughout the globe, and often are taken to the extreme in certain majority world regions. Our societal roles as men and women are greatly shaped by a culture of defined sexuality, influence, and expectations. Society demands from men economic success, perceived “greatness”, and a masculinity that invokes macho-images of control, power and strength.
To be clear, I’m not saying that women aren’t part of the problem. We are. Women purchase sex too. Women are traffickers and pimps. Women abuse and hurt their children. Absolutely. And at times I wonder whether the modern feminist movement has subtly (or not-so-subtly) echoed disrespectful or emasculating tones towards the male gender as a whole. Don’t get me wrong, while I am staunchly an advocate for women, and believe wholeheartedly in women’s rights and equality, I also believe that when feminism starts to write-off men, this is when we, as women, start to get it wrong. I’m surrounded by incredible NGO communities, faith-based organizations, and radical movements, full of strong, capable women, fighting against the injustices of our world. These women are blazing trails in anti-trafficking and child protection movements and are standing up for the most vulnerable in our world. Yet, I sometimes have wondered whether if we, as women, have done a good enough job of encouraging the men in our lives to stand up with us, instead of perhaps implying that men might be superfluous, or worse yet, solely the main “problem”. I believe the truth is that men are an incredibly vital part of the solution to the problems in our world, just as much as women are. And moreover, because we live in a world of gender hierarchy, men who choose to use their power for good are even more positioned to bring impacting and systemic change than women.
Men: ultimately, I believe that you hold such power, solely by being male, to make decisions to change the world for the better. Simply put, your “man-ness”, in it’s healthiest and most holistic form, is what the world needs. In a world that is overwhelmingly still influenced and controlled by men, the decisions that you, as men, make on a daily basis impact the world exponentially. Decisions to love well. To care for your wives. To treat the women in your life with dignity. To have integrity. To choose transparency. To be vulnerable. To make good decisions in your workplaces. You have the power to change your family. You have the power to change your neighborhoods. To uplift. To heal. To built solid countries. To love your fellow brothers and sisters. To start movements. By being men, you intrinsically have this power in a world that is dominated predominantly by men.
Personally, I am incredibly blessed to be surrounded by men of integrity and honor, including my father, my three brothers, my guy friends who love me like their sister. I know men who have dedicated their lives to fighting against exploitation, men who lead with humility and live lives of courage. Each of you give me a reason to keep hoping for something better in our world. No, you’re not perfect – neither am I. We’re far from it. But by making decisions to love others well and by striving for integrity, you are each changing the world.
Men, do you know how your actions and decisions have the powerful ability to change the world?
I do.
And I believe in each one of you.
